HE SAYS: From a guy’s perspective, the world of wedding planning can be a mysterious one. In the 6-12 months before your wedding gentlemen, you’ll have to consider details you never thought about in your life. There is no end to the options of visiting photographers, videographers, stylists, caterers, decorators and millions of other services. While your fiancé seems to flow through this new world effortlessly, you struggle to understand why it’s all such a big deal.
Here’s the kicker….YOU decided to get married, so do your fiancé and yourself a favour, and be as participative and involved as you can be, and more importantly, as involved as you say you will be. If you say you will take care of something, just take care of it. If you both agree that she will handle it all, then stick by it and help in other ways. Give yourself as much lead time as possible, and sit down together to determine timelines, due dates, and who will take care of what. Lay everything down on paper and agree to the roles, who will pay for what, budgets, and your wish lists, and then follow it. She is almost guaranteed to take everything more seriously than you when it comes to the wedding. Understand that while for you, the wedding is one special day to begin the rest of your lives, for her, it may well be the one magical day that she’s dreamed of since she was a little girl. Do not dismiss what she feels, just understand that it is important to her. Therefore, the most important thing that is forgotten by almost 100% of couples soon to be married…the wedding no doubt one special day. This does not mean however that we forget about every other day before and after it. Make time despite the crazy wedding planning and life schedules to take her out, have fun, relax, and help de-stress. You may not be helping her pick out flower arrangements, but at least take her out to help her unwind, and remind her why she said “yes” to marrying you in the first place.
Wedding planning is not a barrier, but an opportunity to bring you two closer together….embrace it as a blessing; after all, would you rather NOT be wedding planning with the woman of your dreams? She makes you too happy for that to even be an option. Be the man she wants to marry…every day.
SHE SAYS: Ladies, your man loves you. However, he has not been raised his entire life consumed with thoughts of a wedding like many women. Bridal magazines, bridal shows, reality shows, and movies…the concept of the wedding is ingrained into the female psyche. A guy however does not read “Groom Magazine” or talk with his buddies about what color tie will go with the evening decor. He doesn’t necessarily understand the finer points of table settings, or which color of cake icing is best for a spring reception. When he says “…it doesn’t matter to me dear”, do not take this to mean that he does not care. Rather, he’s content with any number of options, as long as those options involve YOU! Take this as an opportunity to explore what you like, and what he likes. Perhaps, ask him to manage more “Manly” tasks like selecting videographers, DJ’s, Photographers and Limos. Most of all, understand that the world is very simple to a guy. He just wants YOU! Whether the reception is a fuscia -theme or peacock makes little difference to him. You have been thinking about your wedding day all your life. He’s been thinking about how he would find you and make you his wife. You want a wedding….he just wants to marry you. Neither of these perspectives is right or wrong…they are just different. If you’re frustrated, let him know kindly. He loves you dearly….he just didn’t know the to-do list would be so long!