A bachelor party is almost like a rite of passage. Here’s the lowdown on popular options…
THE CLASSY BACHELOR PARTY
You can definitely have fun at this type of soirée, though your thrills will be anything but cheap. What we are going for is style and elegance, so we will avoid many of the clichés that hover over most parties of this sort. The formal name for the kind of festivities that we will be indulging in is a “Gentleman’s Bachelor Party,” and here are some suggestions to make it fun and respectable.
We are not suggesting that you come in your best formalwear, but a shirt and tie are definitely required. You may be able to get away without a jacket, but you may want to keep one close by in case the restaurant that you choose requires it. You should keep your colour scheme somewhat dark so that if you decide you hit a club, you won’t stick out like Liberace. The key here is to give off an air of sophistication, not flamboyance, so try and balance your attire with an element of ‘flexibility.’
This is a toughie. Although you don’t want Julio Iglesias crooning as you drive, Marilyn Manson may not warrant an altogether wise selection either. Instead, some easy listening, yet not wimpy music would be better suited to the occasion. Contemporary as Usher or Sting is one route, however “retro,” old school, or even nostalgic bands as the Eagles and The Tragically Hip are also good selections. Either way, you are looking for something that will not leave you falling asleep or requesting medication for your self-induced migraine. Ideally something that you can chill out to and still have a good time with is what you are looking for.
Believe it of not, a great warm-up is to go to a spa with your party and get full massages and manicures (yes manicures!) There are spas that cater to such events and even if they do not normally do it, they will probably make an exception.
After you have reached your state of relaxation, a theatrical production is a great idea. It is both intellectual and you experience the feeling that only a live theatre can give you. Follow this by a necessary stop to a cigar bar to sit and enjoy a glass of cognac and a good smoke. Avoid the type of bar that is littered with frat boys who are there because it is trendy. Opt for a club that attracts seasoned pros instead. Top off the night with a visit to a late-hours jazz club. Do nothing more here than take in the atmosphere.
The object here is not to get smashed, rather to get a nice buzz (get to your happy place). To do this, concentrate on top shelf liquor (in moderation) with the emphasis on a fine brandy or cognac (drinks that you probably do not think twice about when with your friends)
This is where you may splurge. Visit a fine restaurant you have always wanted to try, but where the prices made you shy away from the entrance. The key word here is “SPLURGE.” Order small portioned, pricey foods that you have always wanted to try – but just never did! Experiment! Moderation is another key; you want to feel as if you had an enjoyable time when you wake up in the morning instead of feeling your way to the bathroom.
Elegance is what we are after here, so we would suggest an inconspicuous spacious town car or a limo that has no accessories that a normal car doesn’t (i.e. hot tub, VCR, bar.) You do not want to look like you are having a party or calling attention to yourselves; you want to look as if your night out is somewhat common.
Exotic dancers are up to your discretion, but if you are going to a strip club, go to one that caters to upscale clientele. Once you enter, make very sure that none of your friends is bent on making a spectacle of you and him. Remember enjoy the show; don’t become part of it!
THE TRASHY BACHELOR PARTY
When we suggest trashy… we really mean like an art form. We’re talking about a hold nothing back, rowdy, trailer park style! Therefore, when planning this party, it is important that all your participants commit to the theme and really ‘live it.’ A week’s preparation would be great; watching monster rally videos, the Dukes of Hazard, and the Beverly Hillbillies are what we’re talking about here.
We’re thinking pimp daddy, polyester, Saturday Night Fever with sneakers look, or white armless undershirts. Remember that everyone must firmly commit to the look and believe us… the attitude will follow. A leisure suit would kill! What about a classic Hawaiian shirt? Keep your hair “untidy” and try Brut or Old Spice for cologne. Hey, if you feel like getting a gold tooth for the occasion – go for it!
You’ll want to be pumped up for the night so you’ll definitely want classic “sing-a-long” tunes. AC/DC, Guns -N- Roses, Prince; make a tape and bring it on the road.
Well, since driving around “looped” and shooting out people’s mailboxes can be good times… it probably wouldn’t be all that prudent. However, we think we have a suggestion that might just be the next best thing. Since everyone will more or less be liquored up, a firing range may not let you in… but if you can keep it together we suggest Paintball as a sure bet. How much trashier can you get than paintball? You’ve got guns, the “mess” element and the guys. Another option might be a professional wrestling match or even heading down to a racetrack. Finally a good place to wind the evening down might be a bar with a riding bull. Places where they make you check your knives in on the way are also an option.
Make sure your drinks of choice fit the theme. Think along the lines of wine coolers, malt liquor, and flasks of moonshine. Drinking should be done in moderation because of the high alcohol content, and remember there is a sense of elegance, even in ‘trashy’ that is not maintained when one is puking. Cigars are always a safe bet — but only if it is the cheap and stinky kind.
If you want transportation for this auspicious occasion, try and hook up with a pick-up truck. If you really want to do the limo thing, get something gaudy with a sunroof so you can just get crazy and make bigger fools of yourselves.
Ahhh yes… the entertainment. You definitely need to stick with the theme here. When you go to scope out a strip club, pick one that has a lot of atmosphere. No featured dancers, no Penthouse centrefolds; just good wholesome down-home girls; girls who are strippers, not ‘wannabe’ actresses or models. You want a girl who is a stripper who enjoys her job and is good at it. When you get to the club, pick out a couple of favourite girls and tip them well. Get the groom a few lap dances and break out some gag gifts… ball and chain, blow up doll, anything that you can get a cheap laugh out of at the groom’s expense. If you want to hire a stripper to come to you, make sure she is willing to go along with the theme and have her dress accordingly. Big poofy hair, heavy make-up, tight jeans, red high heels, and a Motley Crue T-shirt should do fine.
Remember the best thing about bachelor parties is not what you do, but the memories you make. Although you may not see yourself in such an event, being there for the groom and having a good time are all you need to create that one memory!